This morning I had a medical for my residency visa. This included urine, x-rays, general poking and an HIV test.
We didn't get off to a good start, the nurse taking the blood was from Latvia and had a thick accent (you'll have to do the accents yourselves).
I'm sitting in the room, rather nevous with my sleeve rolled up, signing some consent forms...she says:
"I'm going to take some blood now"
"It will be tested for HIV, do you understand?"

[the implication here is that if I have HIV they send me a nice letter saying, "You have HIV, please leave the country immediately, your visa application has been denied"] now the question she was trying to ask me was "Do you understand what HIV is?" the question I heard was "do you understand this is a test for HIV?" so...i answered:
"I've had it before"
"I've had it before, i was fine"
"yes, it was good"
"took about three weeks though"

And so on for about 15 minutes until it dawned on us both that we were talking at cross purposes, my how we laughed. Then she jabbed a huge blunt needle into my arm.